I recently saw this posted on Leah’s page (which credits Davesdaily.com) and I thought it was so funny that I had to add it myself! Especially, given the fact that I also had “Sex Laws You Probably Never Heard Of” but these are mainly in other countries!

So, here’s the list:
1. Most Middle Eastern countries recognize the following Islamic law: "After having sexual relations with a lamb, it is a mortal sin to eat its flesh."

2. In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.

3. In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is forbidden from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.

4. Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers; the sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.

5. The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.

6. There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time. Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.

7. In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. (The husband's lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.)

8. In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens her mother must be in the room to witness the act.

9. In Santa Cruz, Bolivia it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.

10. In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for on the premises."

Hey, we all need protection, right? Here's 95 funny condom slogans from condomslogans.com. The list was actually a lot longer, but I narrowed it down to what I thought was funny, or at least, reasonable.

1) Before you attack her, wrap your whacker
2) Don't be silly, protect your Willie
3) Don't be a loner, cover your boner
4) You can't go wrong, if you shield your dong
5) If your not going to sack it, go home and whack it
6) If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey
7) She won't get sick if you wrap your dick
8) If you go into heat, package your meat
9) While your undressing Venus, dress up your penis
10) Especially in December, gift wrap your member
11) Never ever deck her, with an unwrapped pecker
12) Wrap it in foil, before you check her oil
13) Don't make a mistake, cover your snake
14) Sex is cleaner with a packaged wiener
15) No glove, no love
16) If you think she'll sigh, cover old one eye
17) Even If she's eager, protect her beaver
18) Shield her from the hunt until you shoot her in the cunt
19) The weasel you must surround before you place her on the ground
20) Cloak the joker before you poke her
21) Cape your throbber before you bob her
22) Cover that lumber before you pump her
23) Put your dog in the pound and make her yelp like a hound
24) Shelter your jerky then nab that turkey
25) Cage that snake then shake and bake
26) Don't be a fool cover your tool
27) Stitch that switch then itch her niche
28) Wrap that tool to catch the drool
29) It ain't no jibe to protect her hive
30) Restrain your log then plow her bog
31) Condomize then womanize (or sodomize)
32) Cover old pete then grind her meat
33) Wrap your bate before you mate
34) Cover your pipe you dumb ass wipe
35) Contain your lizard then tickle her gizzard
36) Cover your vein then drive her insane
37) Wrap that spout then bore her out

38) Guard your bridge then do her ridge
39) Shroud your trout then make her shout
40) To make her squat like a turkey, cover your Jerky
41) Contain that bass for a swim in her glass
42) Be sure to wear it to feed her ferret
43) Got no protection? Can't use your erection!

44) Cork your pump or you don't hump
45) Cap that seeder before you breed her
46) Stop the stream before you cream
47) Secure that ladder then drain your bladder
48) Protect your screw to catch that glue
49) Holster your gun then shootings more fun
50) Canvas that trailer before you nail her
51) Net that grass hopper before you pop her
52) Pen that rooster, she'll be much looser
53) Garnish your oak then give her a poke
54) Restrain your hammer then wam bam her
55) Prune that stalk then make her squawk
56) Wrap that rod then please her bod
57) Sheath that knife she ain't your wife
58) Cover your diddle then fiddle her middle
59) Can your knob then throb her swab
60) Contain old Doug then clean her rug
61) Cover your limb before you swim
62) Rope your dope then make some soap
63) Wrap that Steed then trample her weeds
64) Hat that chef then scramble her cleft

65) Cover your stone before you bone
66) House your hose then curl her toes
67) Blanket your twitch then hump that bitch
68) Shield your rocks then pond her box
69) Glove your chimney before you come in me
70) If your nude tube your dude
71) Cloak your hitter then go split her
72) Wrap your nipper before you dip her
73) Can your spam then bam that mam
74) Corral your ram then slice her ham
75) Sheath your sliver then jab her liver
76) Twist your wick then stick that prick
77) Shed old spot then do her slot
78) Drawer your pip then split her lips
79) Contain that leach then mash her peach
80) Bag your elm then take the helm
81) Constrain your gem to catch the flem
82) Catch that head cheese or I won't spread these
83) Survey your land then plant her stand
84) Before you drive her protect that diver
85) Sack that slimy smelt then tan her beaver pelt
86) Wrap that stiffer then let him sniff her
87) Balloon your baboon the moon tune her poon
88) Contain that viper before you pipe her
89) Wrap your whopper, then go bop her
90) Protect your cock with the sock.
91) Slip it on before you slip it in.
92) Don't leave it to God, cover your rod.
93) Do a good deed, don't spill your seed.
94) Wrap Mr. Clean then introduce her spleen
95) Dam your giver then fill her quiver

So you guys should know about Debra LaFave already, the hot teacher who slept with a 14-year-old student (lucky bastard!). But I was just browsing and saw this South Park episode that had to be directed at LaFave's situation.

I mean, go watch the clip and tell me (if you're a guy) that you aren't going to react the same way they did. I don't want to put people's name out there but we (including myself) have already joked about this.

If you haven't read 'Teacher Who Had Sex with Teen Arrested - Again!' go check that out too!

Dammit, just watch the clip already! It's hilarious!

Have you guys seen movies like Knocked Up, Superbad or the new Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story? A lot of adult humor, I mean, I saw the first two and I thought they were hilarious. But if you don’t want to see the male penis – fake or real – I wouldn’t be watching anymore movies from this director.

Judd Apatow, director of Knocked Up, plans on putting penises in every movie he makes. He thinks “America fears the penis” and he has a personal goal of helping them get over it.

So, how will people react to it?

I’m glad I just asked myself that! Yes, “asked myself that.” I talk to myself sometimes, so do you guys!

Apparently, in the new movie, Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story, he placed a penis behind actor John C. Reilly’s head in one scene, and during a special screening of the movie, he saw disgusted members of the audience storm out.

22 people to be exact.

“The original shot was way longer, where the penis is in close-up, and then one night we showed it to a test audience and 22 people walked out. I think we went too far with too much penis,” said Apatow.

But how much is enough? Well, he thinks a penis in every movie would be a ‘head’ start.

"I'm gonna get a penis in every movie I do from now on. When this writers strike ends, that is my dream. It really makes me laugh in this day and age, with how psychotic our world is, that anyone is troubled by seeing any part of the human body; that is amusing to me."

Hey, if they have women’s ‘assets’ in all these movies, why not guys’ stuff? Hey, don’t get me wrong, I’m not a fan of seeing guy parts or anything… and I have a feeling, neither do a bunch of women.

If it happens, it happens. Shit, I paid for the movie, I might as well watch it, right?

How many of us have had headaches? Well, have you ever been asked to have sex while you had a headache? Look no further, now here's a solution for those with headaches and those we wanted to have sex but was rejected because of the headache!

Check out this video, it's hilarious!

Here are a bunch of "Sex is Like..." metaphors that I found from random websites...

Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you’re going to get or how long it will last.

Sex is like your salary; you don’t disclose what you get but you always think that others get more than you.

Sex is like playing bridge; if you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.

Sex is like money; only too much is enough.

Sex is like air; it’s not important unless you aren’t getting any.

Sex is like algebra to some; they understand the fundamentals but simply aren’t interested in it.

Claiming that sex education leads to irresponsible sex is like claiming that driver education leads to car accidents.

Sex is like math; add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray to god you don’t multiply.

Sex is like a knife; You can use it to make something wonderful or you can use it to wound someone, it depends on the person wielding it.

Sex is like a Chinese dinner; It isn’t over ‘til you both get your cookie.

Sex is like spinning a quarter on a counter; Even if you give it a really strong start, it will eventually wind down if you don’t do things to keep it spinning.

Sex is like art; Most of it is pretty bad and the good stuff is out of your price range.

Sex is like bowling; Be spared from striking out.

Sex is like voting; When you come of age, you get to exercise your right.

Sex is like chocolate; When you meet somebody who doesn’t like it, you go “what?! No, you must like it! Everybody likes it!”

Sex is like politics; The more you learn and read about it, the better.

Well, maybe not in every case. But apparently, a ‘sex attacker’ put a 12-inch carrot in his pants to pretend it was an erect penis. And he has been sentenced to jail for 18 months.

Stephen Cooney, 51, is a driving instructor who was accused of groping three females dating back to 2002 while teaching them during driver’s education.

A jury found him guilty of two indecent assaults and two sexual assaults. Though, the carrot incident was a “practical joke,” obviously the court didn’t think it was too funny.

The story goes like this: Cooney put the 12-inch carrot down his pants and told one of his driving students that “a perfectly executed manoeuvre was so good that it had given him an erection.”

He was also accused of having taken the woman’s hand and making her touch what she thought was his penis, before he revealed it was only a carrot. Though, he did admit to the “practical joke” and denies forcing the woman to touch his “carrot.”

But in conclusion, no matter what your parents tell you, those kinds of vegetables will never be good for you!

I just 'stumbled' to this picture/advertisement and it caught me off guard. But damn, this is hilarious!

See advertisement below:



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I just felt like everyone needed to recooperate from all the eating they did at Thanksgiving, so I figured I'd put a video on 'sex education.'

Don't worry, it's not graphic or anything. I mean, it's from Mad TV featuring Avril Lavigne! Hey, I thought it was kinda funny!

Check out the top ten best rated condoms at Undercover Condoms

I was reading various stories (and yes, I do read… well, sometimes) and I saw this story about a man ‘attempting to have sex with a fence.’ Yes, a real fence. I mean, there’s no other type of fence that I know about.

But apparently, this drunken man broke into a central London park to attempt to have sex with a fence. His name was Daniel French, 24, who was challenged by the police when it had happened.

According to the prosecutor, Philip Lemoine, “He said words to the effect of: I’m going to have sex with that fence’.”

He goes on to mention, “The gardens were locked and police had asked French to leave. He was drunk and there were some sexual motions – drunken silliness – to the railing.”

Okay, fine. At least there was an excuse – he was drunk! Do I have to reach into my goodie bag and show you pictures of drunk people at their worst? I thought so.

But after being accused of having sex with a fence, French tells his side of the story.

“That’s not right at all about the fence. I was surrounded by three big police officers. I felt I was being bullied and wanted to go home. They were pushing me against the fence and trying to provoke me.”

French only had to serve the time he spent in custody since his arrest.

So the moral of the story – wait, there’s a couple – don’t get drunk near fences because they may take advantage of you. Don’t get drunk around police officers cause they’re find a fence and take advantage of you. Make sure you use protection, even with a fence. Lastly, people will do stupid things… even without being drunk.

Check out the top ten best rated condoms at Undercover Condoms

I was browsing through various blogs today and I ran across this comparison between math and sex and I had to put it on here, hilarious!

10. Explicit discussions of either topic is a faux pas at most cocktail parties.
9. Historically, men have been in control, but there are now efforts to get women more involved.
8. There are many joint results.
7. Both are prominent on college campuses, and are usually practiced indoors.
6. Most people wish they knew more about both subjects.
5. Both involve long and hard problems, and can produce interesting topology and geometry.
4. Both merit undivided attention, but mathematicians are prone to think about one while doing the other.
3. Saint Augustine was hostile to both, and Alan Turing took an unusual approach to both.
2. Both typically begin with a lot of hard work and end with a great but brief reward.
1. Professionals are generally viewed with suspicion, and most do not earn high pay.

Thanks to spanklin!

Adult Games

So, I was going through youtube.com and although this doesn't related to 'sex' directly, I thought it was sort of funny so I decided to post it anyways. Eh, my humor might not be the same as everybody else's, but eh, I'm posting it anyways. LOL!

Hey, we all have compared sex to something before, haven’t we? Sex is like Pringles, “once you pop you just can’t stop.” Sex is like golf because "you aim for a hole in one." Well, some say sex is like blogging… wait, huh? How?

- Some people get frustrated with it and realize it’s just not for them.
- Some people do it a few times a day while others would be happy to do it once a month!
- The length of a blog entry is overrated. Hey, ask your woman!
- On average, it probably takes about 15-20 minutes to write a post
- People probably post a blog entry to start the day, or right before sleep
- Experiment with your topics and blog to see what you really like and what works
- Blogging gets addicting, you might end up canceling with friends just to do it
- Don’t blog about the same thing over and over again, it’ll get repetitive
- Many people shouldn’t do it at work but some manage to get away with it
- Bloggers love getting positive feedback
- Bloggers love when you scream their names… I mean, mention their name on your blog
- Some people are hesitate at first, they want to wait for the perfect time
- Some people manage two or three blogs at once!
- Don’t fake it. If you’re not really into the subject matter, don’t try to pretend just to please your readers. It’s not going to help the cause and more often than not, they will KNOW!
Hey, it happens…

Life Is Short - Have An Affair At ""www.ashleymadison.com""




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So I started my account in digg.com a couple weeks ago and I've been actively participating and I saw this picture of sex positions for the 'lonely' that I had to put on here.

Don't worry, it's still appropriate to view at the office or wherever you work... even though we know you're not actually working. Hope you enjoy cause I thought it was hilarious!



If you're going to try these positions because you're lonely, please do it at your own discretion. And if you catch a cramp or pull a hamstring or something, that's YOUR fault! LOL... good luck!





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This may be a funny commercial, at least to me, but it delivers a very powerful message. Supposedly, this commercial was also pulled from circulation after one week due to a website traffic overload... that's hard to believe but you never know!

Funny Condom Commercial - Watch more free videos

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