Let me start off by telling you what a ‘Rimjob’ is, for those that don’t know what it means. Rimjob, according to urbandictionary.com, is “the act of orally stimulating the external anal sphincter to cause sexual arousal.” In other words, trying to French kiss someone’s asshole. It sort of redefines the meaning of telling someone to “kiss your ass” huh?

But someone told me this story, I was laughing my ass off (no pun insteaded) but at the same time, I was kind of disgusted. Don't get me wrong, I think I have a sick sense of humor, as do a lot of you guys that are reading this, but I'm glad I was not a witness to this.

My friend told me that he knew someone who went to clubs and bars all the time. And we all know guys don't go to clubs to dance. They go to try and get as many phone numbers from the fine women they see or simply to pick up a lovely lady just for the night. Well, that's exactly what this guy did. For the sake of this story, I'm going to call him Bob. (If it's a coincidence that the real person's name is really Bob, my fault.)

But after hours of bumpin' and grindin' with all these women he saw at the club, he found that one sexy lady that agreed to go home with him. And here it goes...

It wasn't exactly how you see it at the movies. Like kissing, knocking things down while trying to take their clothes off before making it to the front door. They actually checked into a motel. A very cheap one. Not Holiday Inn or Motel 6, but let's just say... a cheap one. Obviously, both of them agreed on having sex before checking in. Unless, they just wanted to spend the night spooning together. If that was the case, this has to be the lamest 'Funny Sex Stories - But True' entries EVER!

So, they have sex. "Ooooohhhhh yyyeeessss..." and all that good stuff. (If you're reading this, you know what sex is like! You can imagine the details for yourself!)

After about 30 minutes (in reality, it was probably like 12 minutes, 23 seconds long, but we'll make him look good) of sex, they take a quick break. Bob's all relaxed like he just let his demons out or something. But then his lady companion was far from done.

"We spent $49.99 for the whole night... we're not done yet!"

She starts rubbing and kissing on his chest and continues to proceed downwards. She starts giving him some much needed attention orally, then decides to start licking around his asshole. Please note: Refer back to the 'Rimjob' definition, as stated previously if you forgot already. Bob can't believe what is going on. He was very surprised like 'hey, hey, what are you doing back there!' He gets pretty freaked out, definitely more than he is getting pleased. But he lets her continue...

After about 10-15 minutes of giving Bob his first 'Rimjob' she starts making her way back up top. She leans towards Bob and tries to kiss him on the lips... Bob freaks out, jumps up and knocks her right off the bed. By the time she gets off the floor, Bob is already putting on his pants. He storms out the room, "Thanks for a lovely evening! We'll have to do it again sometime!"

While walking out the door he mumbles to himself, "Oh, HELL NAH! We ain't doing this again! She done tried to kiss me after giving me a rimjob and I had the runs all day! I'm not even sure if I wiped my ass that good!"

Moral of the story: If you meet a guy for the first time at a club, more than likely he's a filthy stank ass. And yes, I mean that literally.